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Talking about money and finances is hard enough as it is with adults, but it can be even tougher when you have to tackle the topics with your children. And with so many parenting tips and opinions floating around online, it can be hard to make heads or tails of what you should ideally do.
Parenting coach Lisa Bunnage, the founder of BratBusters, filmed a video in which she shared some excellent advice for parents. She explained why doing chores should be separate from the kids’ allowance, as well as how parents can position themselves as the authority figures on savings and spending. Scroll down to learn more!
Bored Panda reached out to Bunnage, and she was kind enough to answer our questions about her approach to allowances and chores. You’ll find the thoughts she shared with us below.
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Parenting coach Lisa Bunnage shared some great advice online about teaching kids about finances, plus why you shouldn’t link their allowance to chores
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: bratbustersparenting
You can watch the parenting expert’s full viral video right over here
@bratbustersparenting Keep allowance and chores separate. #allowance #chores #parentingteens #parents #parenting #parentingwisdom #teenagers #parentingstyle #parentingstyles #behaviormanagement #parent #parentadvice #parentingadvice #howtoparent #tipsforparents #calmleadershipparenting ♬ original sound – Lisa Bunnage – Parenting Coach
“I believe in teaching kids self-discipline through chores and that they need to do what they need to do before they can do what they want to do”
Parenting coach Bunnage was kind enough to explain to us what her approach toward allowances is. “I believe kids deserve to learn how to manage and earn money, so I set up an allowance system which I called Mom’s Bank with my kids. It had a date, description, debit, credit, and balance,” she told Bored Panda in an email.
“Then each week on a Saturday, we would sit down together and fill out Mom’s Bank. I think I did half their age per week as the amount. I had it set up where I would pay 10% on every hundred dollars (only once though) to teach them about interest. Just a note, if they got to one thousand that would reset back to the hundred. They learned over the years how to save, how to spend, and how to manage money because they never got cash. Everything they got went into mom’s bank and we always discussed it together,” Bunnage shared what the advantages of this approach were.
Bunnage’s philosophy when it comes to kids doing chores is very straightforward: “You live here, you contribute.”
“By the age of three, my kids had three chores. My goal was to make it very easy for my kids because I wanted to set them up for success with their daily chores. Their chores every single day were to make their bed, put away their laundry, and put their toys away,” she explained to Bored Panda.
“I believe in teaching kids self-discipline through chores and that they need to do what they need to do before they can do what they want to do.”
Bored Panda was curious to find out how Bunnage chose her path as a parenting coach and when she first started going viral on TikTok. “After volunteering with kids and teens for decades the teens started telling me I should teach what I do. Hence, it was their idea more than mine,” she told us.
“I started BratBusters in 2007, but TikTok changed everything 2 years ago. I blew up overnight, which encouraged me to go all in with social media. My focus has never changed in that I’m here to teach parents how to give respect to get it so they can just relax and enjoy their kids.”
Helping kids get into the habit of doing chores to support their family allows them to develop lots of positive skills and mindsets
Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Bunnage is a very widely known parenting coach with a massive following on social media and elsewhere on the internet. On TikTok alone, she has 815k followers and has garnered 7.7 million likes across her videos.
Meanwhile, on Instagram, the parenting expert boasts just shy of 600k followers, as well as a further 369k followers on Facebook. It would be an understatement to say that families all over the world find her tips helpful: they’re huge fans of her parenting philosophy and practical advice!
According to Bunnage, parents should give their children an allowance; however, this shouldn’t be done to reward them for doing chores. Helping out with the housework ought to be something they do because it’s the right thing to do, not because they’re incentivized from a financial perspective.
When you clean up after yourself, not only are you actively supporting your loved ones and giving them room to breathe but you’re also developing positive habits and becoming more independent. In short, it’s how you grow into a confident, capable, and empathetic adult.
At the end of the day, whether or not you tie allowances to chores is a personal decision, but no matter what, you should aim to foster a mindset where your children understand they need to help you with the chores.
A drawback of paying for housework is that your kids might start demanding more and more cash as they grow older, simply to pick up after themselves. Another downside is that they might learn the wrong lessons; namely, they might not do other things that are useful and necessary because they won’t have the promise of a financial reward.
Housework, exercise, cooking nutritious food, reading, studying, creating things, and being a kind and caring human being—all of these things have intrinsic value. And you should be motivated to do them independently of any money involved.
Shelly Vaziri Flais, MD, FAAP, argues on Psychology Today that toddlers and preschoolers are already developmentally ready to engage in “necessary household tasks.”
Kids who have chores to do have greater self-esteem than those who don’t. On top of that, they develop valuable life skills, promote gender equality, and help balance out the intensity of the labor at home.
Children who consistently do housework grow up to be more confident, independent, and empathetic
Meanwhile, licensed clinical psychologist Cara Goodwin, Ph.D., notes that doing chores is associated with better social skills, life satisfaction, as well as academic abilities. You can ramp up the ‘difficulty’ of the housework as your children grow. For example, a preschooler can help you set the table for dinner or take out the trash. Older kids can help you make their lunch for school or clean the windows.
According to Goodwin, parents should do the chores around their children so that they see the effort that goes into maintaining the shared family home. Meanwhile, you should consider giving your kids the freedom of choice. For instance, ask them if they’d rather do one chore or another, or when they’ll pitch in. In short, get them involved in the decision-making.
Having a clear and consistent routine also helps! For example, you could pick a specific day or time daily when the entire family cleans up. Furthermore, as a parent, you should be as clear as possible with your expectations. Nobody is a mind-reader, least of all your kids who have little to no real-life experience. And, of course, praise your children’s efforts while steering clear of criticism or trying to control how they do something.
‘Your Teen’ magazine argues that aside from the short-term benefits of your children doing chores (e.g., a cleaner, tidier home), there are also lots of long-term ones.
Some of the biggest upsides include developing a strong work ethic and becoming more diligent, confident, and persevering. They’ll feel a sense of accomplishment when they finish their tasks.
Meanwhile, they’ll get better at managing their time, prioritizing various tasks, working in a team (namely, with their relatives), and solving various problems.
All of those positive qualities, in turn, will affect other areas of the child’s life, from how they perform at school to how they’ll eventually tackle actual employment in the future.
The cherry on top? All those long years of forming good habits will pay dividends for the rest of their lives. They’ll be ready for independent adult life when they go off to college or move out of their parents’ home for work. Knowing how to cook, clean, wash the dishes, do your laundry, take out the trash, budget basic things, and do your taxes might sound easy to many adults. But you’d be surprised by how many recent graduates struggle with these things.
Nobody was born with innate knowledge and a deep drive to do chores; it all comes down to practice, habits, discipline, and work ethic that you develop over time. The earlier you start, the easier things will be later… but that same wisdom applies pretty much to all aspects of life, from fitness to investing and beyond.
What are your thoughts on parenting coach Bunnage’s advice, dear Pandas? How do you motivate your children to help out with chores? Do you give them an allowance for doing the housework or not? How do you talk to your kids about money, saving, budgets, and spending? We’d love to hear your thoughts! If you have a moment, share them in the comments below.
Many internet users praised the coach’s parenting philosophy. Here’s what they had to say
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